can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I smell like Dick and happiness
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
