lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I have already put on my inside pants.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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