that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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