I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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