how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
