new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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