Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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