No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
