glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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