just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
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Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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