She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
