I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just google imaged poop.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
