Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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