Who did Billy Mays play for?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
