One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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