I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
