So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
