i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
