Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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