: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it hurts more in the daytime
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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