i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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