Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
