you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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