this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
