My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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