im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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