At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize