Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
