I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize