So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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