Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
