does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
