No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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