Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
