I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
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He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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