OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
