I love black thongs
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize