her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize