Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
