i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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