We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
