you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
