Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
