I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
