Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
whose ass print is on the piano?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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