no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
