So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
