Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
