i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i believe in u and ur pee
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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