So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Damn victory sex feels great
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
