I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
