just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
