You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have post one night stand depression
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
