Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
