And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
