I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
