Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

38 yer olds are good kisserssss

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(713): 38 yer olds are good kisserssss http://tfl.nu/i4pg

Replies (55) Good night (1573) Bad night (2635)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

(1-216): View more from Ohio

Lol no its called college

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(216): Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER? (1-216): Lol no its called college http://tfl.nu/1cpq

Replies (44) Good night (3541) Bad night (570)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

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(803): Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/zuya

Replies (29) Good night (8433) Bad night (914)
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(765): View more from Indiana

how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.

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(765): how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/c7jp

Replies (48) Good night (746) Bad night (6143)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.

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(973): Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings. http://tfl.nu/ds3w

Replies (7) Good night (3161) Bad night (1025)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.

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(267): WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS. http://tfl.nu/9tp1

Replies (10) Good night (2844) Bad night (864)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.

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(717): It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost. http://tfl.nu/w01g

Replies (17) Good night (7344) Bad night (946)
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(847): View more from Illinois

That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am

(248): View more from Michigan

Hahaha. That's funny.

(847): View more from Illinois

But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship

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(847): That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am (248): Hahaha. That's funny. (847): But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship http://tfl.nu/cr13

Replies (6) Good night (3198) Bad night (532)
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(720): View more from Colorado

The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!

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(720): The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED. (1-720): OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby! http://tfl.nu/5dg1

Replies (2) Good night (1344) Bad night (452)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship

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(608): Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship http://tfl.nu/u2r6

Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (299)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.

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(920): He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast. http://tfl.nu/jvhf

Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (324)
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(248): View more from Michigan

David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.

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(248): David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed. http://tfl.nu/8lak

Replies (0) Good night (935) Bad night (394)
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(253): View more from Washington

Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know

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(253): Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know http://tfl.nu/qmd3

Replies (7) Good night (770) Bad night (385)
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(+61): View more from Australia

The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.

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(+61): The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals. http://tfl.nu/0gao

Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (221)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards

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(612): Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards http://tfl.nu/mq0j

Replies (5) Good night (529) Bad night (287)

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