Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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