But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..