Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.