Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

What?

(248): View more from Michigan

..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Details.

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(248): it cannot be done, he is unbreakable. (1-248): What? (248): <name>..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him. (1-248): Details. http://tfl.nu/v8u3

Replies (6) Good night (1903) Bad night (683)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Alarm just got pulled in my exam

(517): View more from Michigan

Swear it wasn't me

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(517): Alarm just got pulled in my exam (517): Swear it wasn't me http://tfl.nu/3yrm

Replies (2) Good night (1719) Bad night (500)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping

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(724): Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping http://tfl.nu/9juf

Replies (5) Good night (599) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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(505): well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop. http://tfl.nu/fta9

Replies (14) Good night (5441) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

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(757): if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby http://tfl.nu/8o91

Replies (87) Good night (10484) Bad night (1794) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..

(313): View more from Michigan

I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..

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(313): I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together.. (313): I can't decide if I actually want to know or not.. http://tfl.nu/mkwc

Replies (18) Good night (841) Bad night (4471)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

(573): View more from Missouri

Jealous.

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(417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u

Replies (9) Good night (3670) Bad night (1593)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.

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(314): Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late. http://tfl.nu/bosu

Replies (17) Good night (4829) Bad night (1047)
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(813): View more from Florida

Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am

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(813): Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am http://tfl.nu/2v1p

Replies (4) Good night (909) Bad night (2432) Order T-Shirt
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(613): View more from Ontario

I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

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(613): I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line. http://tfl.nu/g6vr

Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (4354) Order T-Shirt
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar

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(580): I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar http://tfl.nu/19bx

Replies (6) Good night (878) Bad night (1949) Order T-Shirt
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(207): View more from Maine

I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does

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(207): I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does http://tfl.nu/xjqc

Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (1546) Order T-Shirt
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(224): View more from Illinois

This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.

(309): View more from Illinois

Too low?

(224): View more from Illinois

Yes.

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(224): This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd. (309): Too low? (224): Yes. http://tfl.nu/cgtr

Replies (4) Good night (1735) Bad night (445)
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(831): View more from California

I won't be able to get a boner for a month

(916): View more from California

Challenge accepted.

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(831): I won't be able to get a boner for a month (916): Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/ivke

Replies (3) Good night (1110) Bad night (223)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.

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(618): Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose. http://tfl.nu/98w1

Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt

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