seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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