I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
