According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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