Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
