put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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