I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
