so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Randomize
