How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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