I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
