If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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