that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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