There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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